Dear 4th May . . .

                        

                         You gave me love , you gave me life                           

A thousand reasons to make me smile

 for when he was around, I felt so light

and the day he went, I could only cry

although I can’t touch him,

.....can’t hug him tight

but I always feel him by my side

 yes, this is love and I got it right <3

I know its 1st of January today. The day when the world ushers into celebration, I just don't feel like being a part of this bash. I want to celebrate you. You have been kind enough to bless me with a person whom I can never take off from my mind, even for a second. I still remember that debate competition where we first met and I never thought that the guy I had a crush on would approach me someday. However, I restricted ourselves to friendship but later even I couldn’t resist. I was smitten by the love bug for the very first time and in each moment of that feeling was nothing short of being on cloud 9.

I remember years back, on new years eve. I was dying to wish him and desperately wanted him to be my first wisher. As we were in our dens we couldn't call but yes , thanks to the missed call system, as the TV actors shouted 3...2...1... Banggg.. My phone rang , I saw his num smiled and called him back ..in reply. As everybody was busy with the calls, I took a side and texted " happy new year . jaldi reply karna . I have to go " as soon as I got the tick of " msg sent", my phone beeped and that was probably the best new year msg till date " I promise I ll love you more with the coming years. Happy new year ! "

 Last year, on 1st jan he left everybody and went . . . and they tell me to celebrate the day. It took me days to understand what really has happened. I mean he promised that he will take a job, get settled and then he would ask my family. We were not even in the mid-way. How can he just leave? And that too without informing. I will never ever talk to him.
 You know, he is always around, keeps watching but never has he initiated a convo. I regularly send him msgs on fb but he doesn’t even has the time to read them. You know how it feels  :(
Each time I look up at the sky, I see his face. Whenever I look good, I see him winking at me. Every time I get a blink on my phone from an unknown number, I pray its him. But ... its never him. I feel lost. .Will I ever get a chance to touch him again, hug him or at least see him once?                                       My mind is always over-occupied with his thoughts. Everything related to him keeps rewinding. It’s like a song on the repeat mode. I hear it the whole day, everyday and still I feel the same in it’s every go. You know which is the best day for me? The night he comes to meet me in the dreams turns out to be my best day. Whole day I just relive my dream, I thank him and I fell in love all over again.

Sab kehte h “ sab thik ho jaega “  “time heals” . . kya thik ho jaega ? I seriously don't get it.  Will they bring him back ?  And as far as my so called “wounds” are concerned, I don’t wanna get healed. If he is the wound, I am ready to take the pain, like FOREVER.
So dearest 4th may , I thank you with all my heart for making him come into my LIFE. You are the most special day of the year. THANK YOU and  One last favour. .  Just pass on this message to him
 “    Hey there. How are you? Busy enough I guess. Look you can’t get rid of me and you don’t even want to ,right ? With each passing day, your memories aren’t fading away, rather it is getting stronger. Sometimes, I just imagine how  beautiful life would have been if just, I could have “ACCESS” to you, now don’t make faces, I know you are watching. But I get to see you only in the dreams. So make your cameo in my dreams as frequent as possible. Very often I have this dream of receiving a text from you saying “YAHIN HOON MAIN”  .Ek bar reality me bhi bhej do . . .
  Waise Bada hero bante the tum “cannot see you cry and kya kya”  ab kya hua?   How do you see me crying ?                                    At least ek bar to chup karane ajao.. Bas ek bar. I promise I ll never cry again. I ll just hold you and …. And never let you go. I ll never irritate you. I promise I ll never fight..                                                                                        I am still here my love and I am waiting for you. Your soul may have left your body, but it still resides in mine. Deep within I am dying and I am sure you must not be liking that. I miss you yaar. Plz come back !                                     LOVE YOU till my heart beats and may be, even after that. 

Awaiting your reply. “