THE CONVERSATION

THE CONVERSATION

1:30am

“ Hey, are you asleep ?“ 

 “No, not yet, Say”                                                                                                                                 “Thankyou "

 “For what” 

“ For being so meek, I dint feel as if I was being written on. You just kept gliding “  . The Expression sheet of the notebook had already turned pink. She was blushing.  

  “ Oh well, I guess it’s all because of you and your angelic skin. Not every page is as beautiful as you “ . The blue parker pen said in response.   

 “ I have never ever felt a tickle before on my skin” Expression declared shyly.  

  “ and neither have I felt so great even after being used for hours.”

An awkward silence followed the remark .  

“ You are amazing “ . “You are beautiful "                                                                                             They both blurted out together. The moment was mesmerizing. The white Expression paper glowed in a golden form of texture. Parker was beaming with ecstasy. The magical moment broke at once when he remembered that he has not much life left.

He said “ we should sleep now. Atul starts his work early in the morning “                                                                                                                                                                                                                    6:30am

Expression woke up. The sun shun brilliantly. Parker was still in his sleep and he looked majestic to her. His fine blue texture complemented his manly shaped body. He was on her. She tried to take a closer look. She had never seen anything so perfect. Parker was the one she needed, she had waited for. His extra gentle nib seemed as innocent as it was while writing. Parker moved a bit. Expression backed at once. The sunlight casted over Parker and made him a bit uncomfortable. The cold breeze was not one of the things expression liked to mess with but she had to for Parker. As the breeze blew, she lifted herself and fell gently on him, enveloping him from all the sides as if embracing him, smoothly, affectionately. She wanted everything to stop but the breeze kept blowing. It was cold but Parker was warmer.  She felt the heat of his body, his metallic body, for the first time and she was electrified. She has not ever felt so amazing before. Parker kept taking turns. “ Oh the breeze, can you just sit down for a moment “. She cursed. Just then she saw Atul coming towards the study table and she knew what was going to happen next.                                                                                              To her surprise, he didn’t touch her, neither did he took parker away. May be she had managed to make him invisible under her skin. Atul took one pen from the side and went. Parker was still in her arms. Sleeping like a care-free child. Expression kept staring at him. It was totally hypnotising.

7:15am

Finally, Atul came. He pulled her back from Parker and started his work. Parker was already awake but this time he had to open his eyes. Expression smiled at him. Atul took parker in his fingers and jolted him for a few times. Parker started gliding over her. She loved the tickle, She wanted to dance with joy. Parker just looked at her. He knew anytime from now he would be thrown in the dustbin.

The gliding stopped. It was the worst nightmare for Expression. For the first time since morning, Parker smiled. He didn’t want his last good bye to be awful. Atul jolted him again and pressed him against Expression for one last time. Parker took the opportunity and kissed her with all his strength. Expression stood still, bewildered, unprepared. Parker’s liquid was over and so was his work. Atul threw him in the dustbin within a blink. He took a new pen and started again. Expression was left all alone. She still felt the long press of Parker on her skin. She knew this had to happen someday. She closed her eyes and let the other pen do her task. She wasn’t enjoying it anymore. But she had no other option.                                                                                                                                                Suddenly she saw Parker peeping through the hole of the dustbin. He smiled. She blushed.

The story wasn’t over yet !!!

CAT RESULTS - THE BATTLE HAS JUST BEGUN

CAT RESULTS 2016

So here is the affidavit of what I did for the past 5 months. Here is the topic of discussion for Sharma aunty and Mishra uncle for the next few days. Here is the certificate of my knowledge level. Here is what all I could do.  . . . But now what? Will the society accept me? Will my parents disown me? I was preparing for it for the last 5 months and is this all that I deserve? How will I ever overcome this?  .Why GOD , why? Why did you do this to me? 

OH REALLY ???

61 PERCENTILE . Yes, this is what I got and am not ashamed of announcing this on my blog. Quant took me down. Had it been a few more marks in quant, I could get approx 70-75 . .( which is also not very appreciable).                                                                                                                                     ” HAD IT BEEN.” Conditional sentence but I couldn’t fulfill that condition. So am I supposed to feel bad now? Do I need to skip today’s dinner? Should I switch off my mobile or data to stay away from those morons who are more interested in my percentile than theirs’? What should I do?  . . . 

 Well,I am trying to “ Stay Normal “ . Trust , trust is a very magical word and I am glad my parents still trust me. After sending my result , I received my father’s message and it read “ What matters to me is your hard work. A day will come when it will bear the fruits and in this journey, I am with you”. My mom is just glad that I am not disheartened and crying. And for my brother, I know I ll always be his topper behen (irrespective of the results :p) aur friends , wo saaley to hmesha hi jhaad pe chadha k rakhte hai. My result was more shocking to them than it was to me and it was then i  realised  . .. “ kitne dramebaaz hai saaley “ :P

I must appreciate that all this has given me a lot of courage and with all this courage I want to say something. .

I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY RESULT. I AM NOT REGRETTING THAT I COULD HAVE PUSHED MYSELF A BIT MORE. I AM NOT GATHERING EXCUSES TO EXPLODE THEM WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE REASON BEHIND MY RESULT. I MARKED THE ANSWERS. IT WASN’T ANYBODY ELSE. I DIDN’T TAKE THE EXAM UNDER PRESSURE. I WAS FULL AWARE OF WHAT I WAS DOING. I DID MY BEST. I REALLY TRIED WITH ALL MY WILL AND THUS, I HEREBY, ACCEPT MY RESULT WHOLE HEARTEDLY.

As I had said earlier, my life is not going to end with CAT and look, it didn’t. Shouldn’t have I died after seeing the result but see, I am very much ALIVE, POSITIVE and READY. Ready for the next results, for more disasters, ready to stand up again and fight back.

This wasn’t the bonafide certificate of my capabilities . There is more I can do , There is more I have.                  Mere KUMAR SIR kehte hai “ ek 10 page k paper me AUKAAT nahi ki tumhari AUKAAT decide kare”.

To those 61% people below me and to those 39% above me, “ There is more to life than this. Don’t think about the people around. Let them take your tension (waise bhi enke paas koi dusra kam nahi hota ). Stay calm. There will be more difficult things in life and even more Beautiful things to rejoice. If you gave your 100% (like me), it’s time we should increase our measuring parameter and to those who still think they could have done more –  pehle 100% de lo tab devdas banna “.

So enough of this Dear Zindagi . But guys , don’t wait for Dr. Jung to arrive ( unless he is as hot as SRK) . Be your own hero. It’s your story , why should someone else get more limelight than you. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. . . KUMAR SIR SAYS “ GIVE TO LIFE MORE THAN LIFE WILL EVER GIVE YOU AND TAKE FROM LIFE MORE THAN WHAT LIFE HAS TAKEN FROM YOU “. And for that, You need to pull your socks up.

Stay focused. Don’t let your dreams fade away because once you have a dream , you got to protect it . Wo kehte hai na “ khwaisho ko jeb me rakh kar ghoma kijiye, jannab kharcha bahut hota hai manzilon ko paane mein” . ( ye kumar sir ka nahi piyush mishra sir ka hai :p )

THE DARKEST HOURS ARE JUST BEFORE THE DAWN... Keep flying , keep trying . AND  . DO SOMETHING TO GET SOMETHING ! (ye mera khud ka tha :p )

P.S : Eske baad kisi ne result pucha ya message kar ke sympathy di ~ Kasam se acha nahi hoga ! B-)

Dear Cat

Dear CAT-2016,

Sadar MEOW,

Kuch dino se apke aane ki khushi me bache paglae padey hai, koi so nahi pa raha, koi kha nahi pa raha to koi ya to bas so raha ya bas kha raha hai. Sabhi apse milne ke liye bahut ekchuk to nahi hai lekin kya kare apne kuch option bhi to nahi chora hai J . Taiyari to ho chuki hogi apki ? nahi nahi “ taiyari jeet ki “ nahi , “ taiyari lene ki “ ache se , aram se , HUMARI LENE KI . .

Sometimes,  I think how co related marriage and you are. Taiyari mahino se aur kam tamaam bas 3 ghante me , shadi me bhi insan ki ache se lagti hai  aur CAT me to …ahemmm..let it be !   . . .                   

Like lakhs of students taking cat this year , I too have many dreams , which “YOU CAN” make easier to achieve and by this ( in any sense ) I don’t mean that “ ONLY YOU CAN “ make easier to achieve . No I am not challenging you but I am just being honest . Even if I don’t crack you ( which I desperately want to ) , my life is not gonna end . . I may face more difficulties to achieve what I want to but I will get there. If not you , then something else , but I WILL BE THERE.

I have this one magician in my coaching “ KUMAR SIR”.  Well, yes he is a teacher but the word is too small  to define him. The last day of my workshop turned out to be a turning point in my life. Earlier I had this presumption that exams hardly have any power but somewhere my conscious mind denied to accept this fact. I thought I had this feeling kyuki aj tak kisi exam me maine aisa kuch khaas ukhada nahi hai. .                     On the last day of the workshop (as I mentioned above ) , I don’t know which kind of magic was that or rather I would say, it was hypnotic. Totally and completely hypnotic experience. I was spell bound. I can still hear his majestic voice , the potent words , that was the highest point of my energy level. I learnt a hell lot of things that day and to much of my surprise i found out that whatever I have been thinking over the years was really true. . The lessons I got that day may not help me be the topper of Common Admission Test-2016 , but it would surely land me where I see myself few years from now.

It may hurt your ego , but dear CAT, I am not afraid any more. I am not going to piss off when we meet . I am not gonna shiver when you make that 3 hrs period the shortest time period of my life. I am not gonna wail when you leave me exhausted. I am not gonna call GOD for help , I will just ask him to lend me more powers so that I just sit back at my chair , coolly calmly and do things to the best of my level. Yes Mr CAT, I am going to enjoy you . I will enjoy the faces around , I will enjoy the pressure around , I will enjoy your power but at the same time , I will ensure that I don’t feel “ powerless” .

You may make my life easier or tougher and that’s the most you can do. Tomorrow we are gonna meet and I know you will make sure that I remember the day for the rest of my life but what I am planning is to remember how well I handled you and not how the hell you freaked me out. .

Dekhiye ye sab dil pe mat lena aap. I know aise kisi ne baat nahi ki hogi apse. You are the “Amitabh Bachhan” of your industry and I am very sorry if my words pinched you but it was important to tell you this. I respect you . I hail your powers . So instead of giving me reasons to abuse you for life-time , can’t you be a little liberal and do fraandship with me ?  . I will make sure it lasts long ;) . ok I promise jab mai famous ho jaungi , I will always mention you in my Thankyou speech. Isn’t it cool ? I mean who doesn’t wants to get the credit ? . . And to add the cherry on the cake , I won’t friend-zone you. . We can take our relationship to the next level , only if you want. . and that’s it . I can’t propose to you in a more explicit way than this. . “ promise deta hai to dey , warna kat le “ :p . I don’t think I will be forgiven If I end  this  by a cliché like this but still :p . .                          

    . . .  . and yes. . . . .  . . . .  ALL THE BEST !   Ache se darana bacho ko , ganda wala lena aur ha , call karna ,sath milkar hasenge . . .                                                                                                                                                                                 

With lots of love and respect                                                                                                                                    

~ Setu Shreya                                                                                                                            ( dekho ye dialogues ek taraf , but on a serious note, ek request hai. I will be sending you my registration number, thoda dekh lena yaar. . sach batauin ?? Fatti padi hai . . ) 

                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Independence

Dear People Of India,

Happy birthday to me !                                                                                                                                                                                    

    I know it’s my birthday today but believe me , I am feeling like shit . .  You guys use the word “happy” by default next to me and am too petite in front of you all  to break the taboo . .Well, it is indeed a great day for me. After all those massacres, fights and protests, finally I was born. . Itna respect karte ho tumlog ki , the original newspapers having the news of my birth are lying in a rotten state in the national library of Kolkata. J  Isn’t that cool ? Why do you all love me so much?

Day in and out the newspapers are loaded with the same group of verbs, “RAPED” , “MURDERED” , “ATTACKED “ , “BOMBED” ,  “HARRASED” . . . AN-32 aircraft is still missing. We are still on a garbled bridge – “ KASHMIR K LIYE CHAHAT RAKHNI HAI YA KASHMIR KI CHAHAT RAKHNI HAI ? “ . The firing of pellet guns is still taking life and light from many of those residing there. And here are we ,  “ kya hua yaar ,holiday hai aj to enjoy krna hai, Rustom chalenge “ . .Not a single fucking shit is going to change . .

I accept there are still some who have their hearts beating, senses in control and truly aware of the fact that they are humans but I can’t ignore the people outweighing the former.                               India is developing , growing and I have no single doubt on the potential she holds. But this is the story of only half of you. What about the other half ?

While the half of India buys the tricolor, hoists it and thinks they are done with the independence day, the other half still tries to figure out the reason for the ongoing chaos. While many of you will sit in a theatre enjoying RUSTOM and updating “ celebrating independence day at PVR with 15 others” , lakhs and lakhs of chotus will still be delivering cups of tea and coffee. Hundreds of munnis will still be raped today, thousands of dreams will still die but . . .the show must go on, celebration to hoga hi.

Kya kar rahe ho yaar ? kyu ? I don’t want to celebrate a day like this. With half of you celebrating me devoid of any meaning and the half of you lying unaware about me. Firing crackers, flying kites, watching movies, having a party, yaar mera birthday hai ya tumlogon ka?                                                                                 

  It’s not just about a day, the day just adds to my years but what will add to my existence is the road you guys take. If you really do care , respect me. Don’t let my integrity shatter. Don’t let me feel helpless. Do it for me, do it for you, do it for any fucking reason but just DO IT. Let the patriotism flow from your blood. Don’t let your anger die, frame it to come out…. There is much to be done. . . ,you just need to find your way, the right way.

Awaiting your response in the form of your actions.

YOURS FAITHFULLY

INDEPENDENCE

The flying Doll

The Flying Doll

“ What’s that ? “  asked delirious Suru.

“ Oh this ? This is a friend of mine. Although he looks like a pig but he would help me buy that pink doll “ answered cutu beaming with optimism.

“ Well , it has a name cutu, ummmm…yes, it’s a piggy bank and it won’t help you until you feed it with plethora  of coins.“

The two genius minds thought of other alternates but none of them seemed convincing.10 days later Suru received a call “ Suru , come fast, you have got to see this “ . When suru arrived, she saw the piggy on the floor, shattered. Cutu’s eyes were sparkling , “ MAGIC “ , she screamed. “ Papa  just told me that now I have enough to buy that pink doll “ . . .  “ Wow cutu , that is great. Your piggy was really good. I will also bring one, hope I buy that blue helicopter one day “.

After going back, Suru collected the pieces of her piggy , she had broken yesterday to create magic for cutu. She didn’t care  who was credited with the magic. “ Cutu will now have her doll and that’s all what matters “, and she let out a smilet.

The next morning Suru woke up to a grunt. She rubbed her eyes again and again disbelieving what she saw. She spurted to the balcony and  . . . .  saw a blue helicopter flying. She found Cutu holding the remote in her hand and waving.

“ Hey, where did you get it from ? “ Suru screamed while her eyes were still trying to sync with the movement of the helicopter.

Cutu smiled and replied , “ My doll wanted to fly and that’s all what matters “ !

And thus, the piggy created the magic, yet again .

As soon as I got into the metro, I saw beautiful faces with ugly expressions. The afternoon part of the metro likes to keep itself mundane yet relaxed. Sleeping faces were thrashing the window panes, yawning was being welcomed by almost everyone who was trying to keep his/her eyes off falling together. Everything around seemed dry and everyone seemed dead.

The train ritually stopped at one of the stations. And who came in , were not people ,rather it was a storm. It just took 7 " 4-feet " heighted small creatures to bring life back in that metro. Their laughter seemed to replace every square of monotonicity. “ aj pehli batting lene “ , “ ha wo kal maine 64 mara tha vishal ki to halat kharab ho gayi thi “ “ lekin yaar wo bowling acha krta hai, aise hath ko na twist , nahi waise nahi , dekh . . . “  baba re , they were not talking. They screaming at the top of their voices, literally. Their shirts were drenched in sweat. Heavy school bag and a big bottle adorning their burden. I could feel their enthusiasm as it was just yesterday that I had left my school, I saw myself with them, a little me with a genuine smile. No extra kajal, liner or gloss. And in that short skirt, shirt and tie ,I could see “ the prettiest  ME “.

Nobody was anymore in a sleepy mode. Their vibes had brought everyone on the deck back to life. All through my way, I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I was reliving the past. Those blue id cards reminded me of days when the only day that seemed blue happened to be Sunday.

They hardly paid any heed to anyone around. They were laughing, fighting, eating, enjoying. They were not conscious of what people might think or how they looked in those sweaty and sacky dresses or how unkempt their hairs were. They were just so much into themselves. Aaaahh, good old days!

It was just the cricket match’s scores and strategies that worried them. Neither the heavy weighted bag could trouble them, nor the hot weather and here was I , carrying a feather weighted bag and each time I looked at it , it admonished to take the hell outta me.  .  .  how ironical , as the bag’s burden starts decreasing, the weight of the dreams and expectations levied on the back increases and that makes the bag heavier than ever before. . .

As I saw them getting down, I could see my childhood leaving me, AGAIN and I could do nothing, yet  AGAIN. . The doors closed and the window panes showed me the last imaginary glimpse of my childhood. The train jerked and moved forward. I could see the “small me”  getting lost in the crowd or may be , It was the real me , who seemed lost , lost in a world, which is now far from reality. 

The Coin Boy

It was a normal day. The sun as usual was in highest of it’s spirits. The melting power of the sun was getting stronger with each passing second. The heat was tearing the skin apart. The traffic was unending and the vehicles made sure they didn't miss a second adding to that humongous noise pollution. There was a chaos in the market and I was agoged seeing the crowd. The burning heat had NO VISIBLE effect.

Meanwhile all this hustle and bustle , I saw a lad with the least possible cloth on his 500 gms of body, bare foot, running from one person to the another , "de do bhaiya, bhuk lagi hai" (Give me some money, I'm Hungry). He was merely entertained by anyone and even who did, were not able to satisfy him. There was not even a squintilla of happiness in his expressions. I could hardly find any curvy line on his tanned shrunken face. His small hands were not able to accommodate his earning. As a result, two of the coins fell from his pocket. He couldn’t bend down, there were more coins in his hands that needed his attention. He stood there, thinking of what to do next.

And just then entered the hero of the story, little ravenous bearing the "GAP” tag on his t-shirt and wearing a Nike cap. His Sketcher shoes completed his "Richie Rich" look. He bent down, took the coins and pushed it in the half-tore pockets.

I could see two completely different worlds . . . together.

They moved apart. As he was getting in his cool comfortable black Mercedes, he looked back. The coin boy was still standing there, drops of sweat travelling down till his navel. The sun still above his head, trying to suck the left over in his body.

Richie rich got in. the a/c automatically vaporized the sweat. As the temp dipped down and he felt cold, he let out a warm smile to the coin boy. The boy, holding the coins tightly , replied back with a curve. A curve that joined two different worlds, two completely different worlds.